‘Love’, I don’t know how to say anything about it. But yes, it’s something, from which no one can make himself isolated. It’s a deadly virus which kills you to lead you towards life at its fullest. Towards the life which can be lived at its fullest possible that too within a friction of second or may be even lesser than that, yet complete like a lifetime.
The night was full of stress and memories, I was kind of lost in the forest of my own grown thoughts and trying to find a way out, and in the process of finding a way out of that forest, I was losing myself into the loop of never ending thoughts.
It was 1:30 in night, cold soothing breeze was playing childish with my hair, I was sitting on a chair in the balcony, gazing the moon, lost in the music, holding all the broken pieces of my existence and trying to add them at their right places but it was like, a lost part of that existence was yet to find out. After a lot more thoughts, and a hangover of music and finding myself unable to focus on studies I decided to talk.To Talk to a stranger, being strange. This quest was a bit mysterious to me. What was I exactly searching for? What was there making me restless? What was that which was making me connect to a complete stranger? How were we connecting with each other even being totally anonymous? Was it a nice coincidence? how two people sitting far away from each other connected with each other at the same time on the same platform and with the same intention..?
Intension, yes, what was the intention? Nothing, just an escape route from the serenity present all around. Or may be a quest of finding something unknown yet known — yet unknown.
May be a quest to find something which can touch you from the bottom of the heart yet leave you untouched. Something vast like a mountain and something mysterious like an ocean.
Whatever it was, the one word was enough to explain that, i.e. ‘Beautiful’.
Last night has changed my entire perspective about love, life and getting connected with someone. With the silence filled in my breath and restlessness in my mind, I hit that connect button on the website, and I found him again..
Yes, again, with a different name yet the same traits — no vulgarity, no creepiness, unknown to each other, yet it was like we have been friends for a long time.
With a certain grace and dignity in words, he asked some formal questions like who are you, what you do and hobbies etc. With him these simple questions become a matter of surprise and means of knowing oneself beyond the words presented on the plate. I was amazed at how he was able to guess me so accurately!
It’s really very true that sometimes the people around you make you feel extraordinarily beautiful. You can take it as a compliment or a weakness, it’s totally up to you. After an hour long peaceful talk, it was time for a hesitant good-bye! I wanted to close the discussion. My heart, filled with the notion that “somewhere I know him!”
How can these many things can be same in two different person, the same old crush of coffee, the same classical music match of harmonium with anklet bells, the same old curiosity towards new discoveries, the same old desire of knowing more about each other, the same old learning how to deal with failed plans and how to reorganize oneself. And the same question in my heart — “Do I really know him!”
But this time I was not searching for the answers of my questions, these questions itself were enough to make me feel joyful. What would I really do with the answers! This time, I was not curious about his presence; but there was a strange satisfaction that “though for a fraction of second, but we are connected somewhere.” and there was no demand for tomorrow, no fear of losing him apart, again, as well as no urge to possess him for lifetime.
A sweet, short, simple yet perfect connection. A perfect relation with ‘no relation’ at all.
How lovely it is to be in love and yet unknown towards love!
How peaceful it is to demand no favors in return!
Hoping for a long lasting togetherness and fully convinced that, hope is just a myth and it will shatter in the next fraction of second.
How awesome it is that somehow all your worries have been taken away and you are now free from all the mists, like you found a path towards the city from the jungle.
In a short connect of one or two hours, we did not really know each other yet we exactly know ‘that’ which we must know i.e. “It’s something awesome!”
After a very long time, I had a peaceful and heartfelt exchange of words with someone. But as we know that every start has to come to an end, this conversation also reached its limit, or rather I must say, I dragged it to an end. No one was willing to go yet. But we both agreed to close the doors of endless talks, cause that was the only right thing to do at that moment. And this way, two strangers remained strangers yet not really unknown to each other.
After closing the talks, I read the exchanged messages twice, searching the moment I lived just a second ago. After a deep breath I switched off the laptop, sitting quietly on the same chair laying on the balcony. The breeze was colder than before. The moon was shifting towards the west and the brightness of the night was getting deeper. With the calming effects of the talks and with the notion filled in the heart that we have surely met before, I came back inside the room, hugging my pillow to the heart. I was trying my best to let the sleep take over my consciousness, but those hard hitting words.. I simply could not resist myself to think about the words we exchanged a while back.
“I started missing you even in this current moment”, this is what he said, when we were about to bid adieu. that .0001% of possibility of crossing the path again, his response – “Same” to our shared interests, the same inclination towards coincidences. The same musical story, his fluent Hindi and unknown decagon, the same way of writing achcha with repeated ‘ch‘, and the same last question — “Mountain or sea”, with a disclaimer that “please don’t take it otherwise, I am asking this just to know your personality.”
All of these things are similar, yet wrapped in a different identity like sky and ocean, sharing the same vastness, same depth yet dimensionally different from each other.
Was it a coincidence? Or maybe I am overly thinking? I don’t know what I want to know, but I know only one thing, “it was awesome at that moment”. I know, it won’t last for long but that fraction of a second was enough to be with someone without any expectations. Yeah! It hurts but at the end it means to be like this only.
And in this way, I can live my entire life loving that sleepless night, that cold breeze, that fragrance of moulsari flowers and that known stranger with his hopeless good bye
I hope these words reaches to him —
Thankyou for taking me away from my problems for a while!
Thankyou for sharing your valuable time with me!
Thankyou for giving me a new perspective towards life!
Thankyou for obliging me for this short, sweet and simple story which is full of love, respect and dignity!
and.. simply thank you..